The Woman Who Finds Things

0:00 South Station, Lost Property

0:04 Narrator: Entry three. Boston, Wednesday, the sixth of December, nineteen fifty. At twenty minutes to nine that morning, a woman behind a counter at South Station told Nell where Nell's husband's watch had been for six years. By nine o'clock she had told me that I was lost. I was standing in front of her at the time. It seems that these are two different conditions.

0:28 Narrator: Nell. I cannot count anything in here. There are too many people, and every one of them is in a hurry.

0:35 Harrow: That's why people lose things in a station, Jonah. Nobody's listening to their own pockets. Lost Property. Let me do the talking.

0:44 Daisy: Be with you in a tick! Mind the rabbit, he bites. He isn't alive, he only looks it.

0:50 Harrow: Miss Quill? Daisy Quill? Detective Harrow, Boston police. This is Jonah. Captain Mulrooney asked me to bring you down to headquarters.

1:00 Daisy: Oh! Oh, it's Lottie. It's the Marsh girl, isn't it? Her father stood at that window Sunday night with his cap in his hands, and I've been looking and looking since, I've hardly — Oh.

1:14 Harrow: Miss Quill? Daisy: I'm so sorry. I do try not to. It's only that you came in so loud, dear. Is it all right if I say?

1:24 Harrow: No. Daisy: No. Of course not. It's a terrible liberty. It's only — a watch. A man's.

1:32 Harrow: Miss Quill. Daisy: Gold-filled, an Elgin, with the crystal cracked across one corner. It's in a pawnshop on Hanover Street, the one with the three brass balls, at the Scollay Square end. Third drawer on the left behind the counter, in a brown envelope with a rubber band round it. The ticket says eleven dollars and fifty cents.

1:56 Harrow: Who told you that? Daisy: Nobody told me, love. It did. Anything somebody wants back and can't reach, it rings. Yours has been ringing six years, like a bell in a cellar. I'm sorry. I can't turn it off.

2:13 Harrow: I pawned it the month the telegram came. Eleven dollars and fifty cents, for the rent. I meant to be back by Christmas.

2:23 Narrator: Nell. Is it true? Harrow: Yes.

2:27 Narrator: Then she did not guess. Harrow: No, Jonah. She didn't guess.

2:33 Daisy: He never sold it, you know. The man in the shop. Nobody else ever wanted it, you see. It's only ever been you.

2:40 Harrow: I'll thank you not to do that again, Miss Quill. Daisy: I can't help it, dear. It's like having no eyelids.

2:48 Narrator: How many lost things are in this room? Daisy: Oh, thousands. Umbrellas, mostly. Nobody wants an umbrella back, thank God, they're quiet. It's the false teeth. The wedding rings. The mittens, God help me, the mittens. Somebody's mother is crying over every one.

3:09 Daisy: It's a room full of crying, all day long. I sleep three hours a night, and I've never once in my life dreamed. Narrator: Nell. The man on the bench under the clock has not turned his newspaper in eleven minutes. His breathing is slow. It is the breathing of a man who is waiting.

3:27 Harrow: Registry? Narrator: I do not know what the Registry's men breathe like. Harrow: Like that.

3:34 Daisy: Mr. Crane's man. Since Sunday night. He follows me to whatever I find, and then he finds it second. I used to think it was a kindness.

3:44 Harrow: Tell me what you told Mr. Marsh. Daisy: That I can't feel her. Not a thread, Detective. A child gone four days, with a mother and a father crying over her, ought to be the loudest thing in Boston. And I have never in nineteen years felt nothing for a child somebody was crying over.

4:02 Harrow: Meaning? Daisy: I don't know what it means. That's why I'm so frightened. I'm so sorry, dear, I haven't even said how do you do. You've been standing there so patiently.

4:15 Daisy: Oh. Narrator: Miss Quill? Your pulse has doubled.

4:20 Daisy: I walked right past you. I was so busy being polite to her. You're — you're the loudest thing in this room. You are the loudest thing I have ever felt in my life.

4:34 Harrow: Miss Quill. He's with me. Daisy: What are you, love?

4:38 Narrator: I am Jonah. Daisy: You're lost. You're the most lost thing I ever —

4:43 Narrator: I am standing in front of you. Daisy: That's not the same thing, love. It's not the same thing at all.

4:50 Daisy: Somebody wants you back. A long way off, and for a very long time. That's all I can tell you. I can feel the wanting, but I can't feel who.

5:02 Narrator: I do not know what you mean. Harrow: That's enough. Get your coat, Miss Quill. The Captain's waiting.

5:10 The Captain's Office

5:10 Mulrooney: Harrow. You brought her. Miss Quill, welcome to headquarters. You'll forgive the smell.

5:17 Harrow: Captain, this is Miss Quill, from South Station. Miss Quill, Captain Mulrooney. Walter: Miss Quill. Walter Marsh. I was at your window Sunday night. My sister-in-law's wedding ring at Back Bay, the Doyle boy in his coal cellar. They say you never miss.

5:35 Daisy: Mr. Marsh. I'm so sorry I haven't been any use to you. Walter: You said on the telephone. Nothing.

5:44 Daisy: Not a thread. And I must say it plainly, Mr. Marsh, because it frightens me. A lost thing is a loud thing, and the more it's wanted, the louder it rings. You and your wife want that child so hard I could hear you from Atlantic Avenue. I follow that sound. I always follow that sound. This time it doesn't go anywhere. It goes round and round, and ends where it began.

6:10 Harrow: Where it began. Daisy: Right back at your front door. As if the wanting were going home.

6:16 Mulrooney: Then she's home. Daisy: Then she isn't lost, Captain. And she isn't found. I haven't a word for it.

6:25 Mulrooney: Brannigan's boys went through that flat Saturday night and again Sunday. Cellar, roof, coal bin, under the beds. Not a hair.

6:34 Walter: Ruth let them in. She sat there and let them. She hasn't been herself. She sits at the kitchen table all day, says somebody has to be there if Lottie comes home. I can't argue with it.

6:48 Harrow: Tell me about her, Mr. Marsh. Not the coat she wore. Who is she?

6:53 Walter: She's twelve, thirteen in March. Tall for it. Chipped front tooth, from the pump handle at my brother's. She reads at the table and doesn't hear you. She wants to be a clerk in an office with a window. And she's the best loser of things in the South End, Detective. I don't say it to be funny. Eleven pairs of mittens last winter. My spanner, twice. The whole Sunday collection, on the way to Mass. We found the envelope in the Bible. She lost the cat once for a day and a half, and we found him in the oven. Cold oven, mind.

7:29 Mulrooney: In the oven. Walter: Cold oven. She says she doesn't lose them. She says they just go. Ruth says it's my side of the family.

7:38 Narrator: Mr. Marsh. When she loses something, how does it come back? Walter: It turns up. A day, two days. Somewhere ordinary. Somebody always finds it.

7:50 Daisy: Somebody always finds it. Mulrooney: Marsh, you'll sit tight here with Brannigan. Coffee, a sandwich, a statement. He'll run you home after three.

8:01 Walter: I'd rather go with — Harrow: Mr. Marsh. I'd like to see your wife on her own. A woman will say a thing to a woman that she can't say in front of her husband.

8:10 Walter: Ruth doesn't keep things from me. Harrow: I'm sure she doesn't. Narrator: Mr. Marsh believes it. About his wife. His pulse did not move when he said it.

8:21 Harrow: That's what worries me. Mulrooney: Harrow. Stay. You too, whatever you are. Doctor Vance telephoned at eight.

8:31 Harrow: What did he want? Mulrooney: What he's wanted since the day you brought him in. The Commissioner has put his name to a paper. Nine o'clock tomorrow morning a car comes to Berkeley Street for your consultant. Three days at the Registry's clinic on Court Street. A short clinical examination, is the phrase.

8:50 Harrow: Short. Mulrooney: I told them over my dead body. They said that wasn't a condition they'd impose.

8:57 Harrow: Captain, he's a police consultant. He's on the payroll. He can't be —

9:02 Mulrooney: I know what he can't. I fought it ten minutes, Harrow. I lost. Narrator: What is a clinical examination?

9:10 Mulrooney: It's where they look at you with a lamp and write things down. Narrator: That is what Nell does. Harrow: Not with a lamp.

9:17 Mulrooney: Find me that girl, Harrow. A missing child is the one argument I've got left that a Commissioner can't sign away. Bring me something Vance can't ignore, and I'll use it.

9:28 Harrow: Yes, sir. Mulrooney: And Harrow. Don't make me ask where the consultant sleeps tonight. I'm too tired to lie well.

9:37 The Marsh Kitchen, Noon

9:41 Narrator: Northampton Street, the South End, noon. We climbed three flights behind Miss Quill, who stopped on every landing to hold the rail. I counted nine hearts in that house. Eight were asleep or sullen. The ninth belonged to a woman who had not slept in four days.

10:01 Ruth: It's on the hook. Come in. I can't get up.

10:05 Harrow: Mrs. Marsh? Detective Harrow, Boston police. This is Jonah, and this is Miss Quill. Your husband's with the Captain. He asked us to come.

10:15 Ruth: I know who she is. Walter's sister put her nose in. I told him it was no use.

10:21 Daisy: Mrs. Marsh. I'm so very sorry about Lottie. Ruth: Then you've no business up here, and neither has anybody.

10:29 Harrow: May I sit? Ruth: There's a chair. Harrow: Walk me through Saturday, Mrs. Marsh. From when you woke up.

10:37 Ruth: I came in off the night shift at half past five. I got Walter his breakfast and Lottie her porridge. At ten to eight I sent her to the corner for a loaf. She turned the corner. That's the last I saw of her.

10:51 Narrator: That is not true. Harrow: Jonah. Narrator: Her heart jumped when she said it. You told me to say when it did.

11:00 Ruth: What is he? Harrow: He's very good at his job, Mrs. Marsh. Which is sitting still and hearing things.

11:07 Ruth: Hearing what? Harrow: Whether a person's telling the truth. He can't tell me what about. Only that.

11:14 Ruth: I've told you what I saw. Harrow: You've told me what you've decided to say. I'm going to ask you three plain questions, and he's going to listen, and I'd like you to think about which of us you'd rather had asked them. Is Lottie alive?

11:30 Ruth: She's alive. Narrator: That is true. Harrow: Is she hurt?

11:34 Ruth: She's tired. She hasn't slept. Neither have I.

11:39 Narrator: That is true. Her pulse did not move. Harrow: Did you hurt her?

11:44 Ruth: I would die first. Narrator: That is true. It is the truest thing she has said. Her heart is very loud when she says it.

11:53 Ruth: ...Then he knows. Harrow: He knows. And so do I.

11:58 Narrator: Nell. There is a bird in the wall. Harrow: A bird?

12:03 Narrator: A sparrow, I think. A small heart, very quick. It is close by the table. Close by Mrs. Marsh's left side.

12:11 Ruth: There's a bird in every wall in the South End. Harrow: Mrs. Marsh, let me put that kettle back on. You haven't eaten.

12:19 Ruth: Leave the pot. I'll — Damn it.

12:24 Harrow: I've got it. Stay where you are. Narrator: Nell. You walked round that side of the chair the long way.

12:31 Harrow: Did I? Narrator: As if there were something on the floor. Harrow: There's nothing on the floor.

12:38 Narrator: No. Harrow: Mrs. Marsh. A cup went over and you didn't catch it with your left. You haven't moved that arm since we came in. You didn't get up for the door. A woman with a bad back doesn't hold her arm like a dead branch.

12:53 Ruth: It's my arm. Narrator: Her heart is going very fast. The sparrow is going faster.

13:00 Harrow: Mrs. Marsh. Who is it you're holding? Ruth: Saturday the letter came with the milk. Board of Health, Court Street. A routine examination, for the benefit of your child's health. Ten o'clock Monday, a throat swab, the child to be accompanied.

13:19 Ruth: I read it twice, standing right here. I thought of Mrs. Kiley's boy, two floors down. He went for his swab last winter. He came home in May. He's a very good boy now. He sits very still.

13:34 Daisy: Oh. Ruth: Lottie read it over my arm, with her spoon in her hand. She put the spoon down. She said, "I don't want to." So quiet. And I looked at her, and I could see the wall through her.

13:50 Ruth: I caught her by the wrist. I felt her go through my fingers like water out of a tap, and I caught her by the wrist, and I haven't let go since. Harrow: Mrs. Marsh.

13:59 Ruth: Not to eat. Not to wash. Not to sleep. I let go once, Monday night, for as long as a sneeze, and she was a mile off. I could feel her going, like a coat sliding off a hook. I got her back by the wrist, and for a minute she didn't know me. I won't do it again.

14:18 Ruth: And now you'll take her. That's what you came for. You'll take her to Court Street and give her a swab, and in May she'll be a very good girl.

14:28 Harrow: No. Ruth: They always do. Harrow: Mrs. Marsh. I'm not here to take her anywhere. I'm here because a man named Walter is sitting in a police station with his cap in his hands, and he thinks his daughter is dead in a ditch.

14:44 Ruth: He'd have told the first man in a uniform and thanked him for his trouble. He thinks every uniform wants to help. And he's right about most of them.

14:52 Harrow: May I see her? Ruth: You can't see her. Nobody can. The only way is to hold her hand.

15:00 Harrow: Which one? Ruth: The other one. Lottie: Mama? Mama, I don't think they're like the nurse.

15:07 Ruth: Hush, love. Not yet. Harrow: Mrs. Marsh?

15:12 Ruth: She says you've got pins in your hair. Harrow: Where? Ruth: Lower. Here, by my elbow. Take what I'm holding. Don't pull.

15:24 Harrow: Oh. Lottie: Hello. I'm Lottie. I'm sorry about the trouble. I didn't mean to be nowhere. It just happened. Is my Daddy cross?

15:35 Harrow: He's not cross, Lottie. He's frightened. Lottie: He doesn't know?

15:40 Harrow: He thinks you're lost. Lottie: Well, I'm not lost. I know exactly where I am. It's everybody else that's lost me.

15:49 Daisy: Is she — is she there? Have you got her? Harrow: I've got her hand. She says she's lost to everybody but the people holding it.

15:58 Daisy: Oh, my darling girl. Lottie: Is there anybody else who can hear me? It's lonely, only Mama.

16:06 Harrow: There's Jonah. The tall one. Lottie, if he holds on to me, will he hear you?

16:11 Lottie: Everybody just has to be holding on to somebody. That's how it works. Narrator: May I take your hand, Nell?

16:18 Harrow: You may. Lottie: Oh. Narrator: Hello, Lottie. I am Jonah.

16:25 Lottie: I know. You're the cold one. It comes right through her. It's like a cellar in August. It's the first nice thing since Saturday.

16:35 Lottie: You're lost, too. Not like me. I'm only lost to people who aren't holding my hand. You're lost to — I don't know. Everything. You're nearly all the way.

16:48 Narrator: I did not know. Lottie: Doesn't anybody tell you? Narrator: No.

16:54 Lottie: That's rotten. Harrow: Lottie. Tell me how it works. Slowly. You're not in trouble.

17:01 Lottie: When I've got hold of a thing tight and I think "nowhere," it goes, and nobody can find it. Not for ages. I've done it since I was seven. Mittens. Daddy's spanner. The cat. It always comes back, because somebody always finds it.

17:17 Lottie: I never did it to me before. I read the letter, and I got hold of myself, the way you do when you're frightened, and I thought "nowhere," and I was. I could see Mama's hand coming at me, and it went right through. And then she got my wrist.

17:34 Ruth: And I haven't let go, and I won't. Daisy: That's why I couldn't feel her. You've had her by the wrist since Saturday, Mrs. Marsh, and a held thing doesn't ring. I never once felt a baby in its mother's arms.

17:47 Harrow: Then if you let go — Daisy: Then she'd be lost, and I'd feel her, and I could say it. "Found you." That's the word. It's the only one there is.

17:57 Ruth: And if you're not quick enough? Daisy: I've never found a thing in the act of being lost. I don't know if I'm fast enough. I've never been so frightened of not being.

18:07 Harrow: Then nobody lets go. Not yet. Ruth: There's a man in a grey coat across the road. Been there since Monday morning, when we didn't go for the swab. And a motor at the corner.

18:19 Narrator: There are two men in the motor. They are looking at the door of this house. Daisy: Mr. Crane's. And I walked straight up the stairs under their noses. Oh, what have I done.

18:31 Harrow: What you came to do. Mr. Marsh will be on his way, I'd bet money on it, and a very polite man won't be far behind him. Let's think.

18:42 Half Past Two

18:42 Walter: Ruth? Ruth, love, the Captain said I could — Ruth: Come in, Walter. Shut the door.

18:47 Walter: I told the sergeant I was going to the lavatory. I went out by the coal chute. I couldn't sit, Ruth. Have you heard something? Is it —

18:55 Ruth: Sit down, Walter. Walter: Ruth. Ruth: Sit. Take my hand.

19:00 Walter: Which hand? Ruth: Not mine. Hers. Down here, by my elbow, the hand I'm not holding. Gently, now. Gently.

19:10 Walter: Ruth, there's — there's nothing — Lottie: Hello, Daddy. Walter: Lottie.

19:15 Lottie: I've been here the whole time. I'm sorry. I could see you looking for me out of the window. You walked right past me on the stairs. I said "Daddy," and you didn't hear.

19:27 Walter: Oh, my girl. Oh, my girl. Oh, my little —

19:32 Lottie: Don't cry, Daddy, you'll set Mama off. Ruth: I am not going off. Walter: Why didn't you tell me? Four days. I walked the whole city.

19:45 Ruth: Because you'd have told the first uniform you met and thanked him for his trouble. Walter: ...I would have. Ruth: I know.

19:53 Walter: I'd have been wrong. Ruth: No. You'd have been Walter. Daisy: Mr. Crane's man will have telephoned by now. Doctor Vance always comes himself when it's a child. He says it's kinder.

20:05 Ruth: Then it's finished. Harrow: It isn't. Lottie. When you lose something, it's anything you're holding?

20:13 Lottie: Anything I've got hold of tight, if I think "nowhere." Harrow: A coat? Lottie: The Sunday coat. I lost that on purpose once, for a sermon.

20:23 Harrow: A person? Lottie: ...I never tried. Ruth: No.

20:30 Harrow: Mrs. Marsh — Ruth: No. She's paid enough. Every time she loses something it costs her. You don't know what, Detective, nor does she. Monday she asked me what an orange was.

20:42 Lottie: Mama, it was only — Ruth: A year ago Christmas you ate one a day. Lottie: ...I don't remember.

20:49 Harrow: Mrs. Marsh. Tomorrow at nine o'clock a car comes for Jonah. Three days with a lamp and a notebook, and then I don't know what. In a few minutes a man comes up those stairs for your daughter. If she stays in this kitchen, she's found, or she's held in your hand until one of you drops.

21:08 Harrow: Where could a child go that the Registry can't follow? Ruth: ...There's one place. Harrow: Where?

21:16 Ruth: Fourteen Joy Street. A Mrs. Adair. I scrub the stairs at Court Street, nights. There's a drawer in their index room with a brass label, Joy Street fourteen, and twelve years of dust and nothing in it. Mrs. Gilroy says it's the only drawer in the building they've never been able to fill.

21:36 Harrow: You work for the Registry. Ruth: I work for the cleaning contractor. Nobody looks at the woman with the mop.

21:43 Harrow: I'll remember that. Then that's where we go. All of us, unseen. Lottie, I know what I'm asking. I'd carry it for you if I could. I'll owe you for as long as I live.

21:56 Lottie: I could do it, if I held on. I could lose us all. I just don't know how to bring us back. And it gets heavy. After about an hour I start going thin.

22:07 Daisy: You don't have to bring anybody back, love. That's my part. A finder can't find what she's inside of, so I'll stay outside. And somebody has to take their hounds for a walk.

22:20 Harrow: How far is Joy Street? Ruth: Two miles. An hour, if we don't dawdle.

22:25 Harrow: Then we don't dawdle. Can you lie, Miss Quill? Daisy: I've told two in my life. One was to my mother.

22:34 Harrow: Then you're about to tell a third. The Doctor will want to sit down. They always do. Mrs. Marsh, are you a praying woman?

22:43 Ruth: I've prayed more these four days than in the four years before. Harrow: Then you'll ask him whether he'd wait while the family prays for your daughter. Hands joined, around the table, eyes shut. He's a man who says yes to a woman in grief. It's what he's good at. And while his eyes are shut —

23:00 Lottie: I take us nowhere. Narrator: And I will count. Harrow: What?

23:05 Narrator: The hearts on the stairs. You cannot see them and they cannot see you, but I can hear them. I will tell you where to stand.

23:14 Harrow: ...Yes. That's it exactly. Narrator: I could also simply go with them tomorrow. Then they would have no reason to look for the girl.

23:23 Harrow: No. Narrator: It is efficient. Harrow: It's stupid, and we'll discuss it later.

23:29 Narrator: And if I refuse them, I would have to hurt someone to stop them. Harrow: That's rule one. Narrator: ...Yes.

23:37 Harrow: Then you'll hold a mechanic's hand and a policewoman's. Jonah. Your hand. Narrator: Three. One of them has the slowest heart in this house.

23:48 A Quarter to Three

23:48 Crane: Mrs. Marsh? Board of Health. We'd like a word, if it's convenient.

23:52 Ruth: Don't. Don't open it. Harrow: If we don't, he'll wait on that landing until we do, and he'll be very polite about it. Walter. Let go of her and answer the door.

24:04 Walter: Let go? Lottie: It's all right, Daddy. Mama's got me. Go on.

24:10 Walter: One minute, Lottie. I'll be one minute. Vance: Mr. Marsh. Doctor Eliot Vance, from the Department of Health. Forgive the intrusion. I came as soon as I heard that Miss Quill had been asked to help with your daughter.

24:23 Vance: Miss Harrow. And Jonah. I hoped I might find you here. I had a telephone call, and a friend at the station. Mr. and Mrs. Marsh, this is Mr. Lucius Crane, our field supervisor. He will wait by the door, if you don't mind. The stairs are narrow and he is a large man.

24:43 Crane: Ma'am. Vance: May I sit? Ruth: There's a chair.

24:48 Vance: First, may I say how very sorry I am. Four days. I have been a physician for nearly thirty years, and I believe four days without a child would break most men in half. I should explain my errand plainly, because you deserve that. The school nurse sent a card to my office on Friday. It says that Charlotte is a child to whom things happen. Things go missing near her. She is, in the nurse's word, hard to keep in view. On Saturday morning a letter went to this house, inviting her to a clinic, and on Saturday morning she was gone. I do not think that is a coincidence.

25:26 Vance: I think your daughter is one of ours, Mrs. Marsh. I think the letter frightened her. And I think she is hiding, somewhere, very frightened, and I would like to reach her before anybody else frightens her more.

25:38 Ruth: You won't find her in this kitchen, Doctor. Narrator: That is true. Vance: Jonah is very exact, I see. Mr. Marsh. If you will forgive a direct question, because I find it is the kindest kind. Do you know where your daughter is?

25:54 Walter: I'm holding her hand, Doctor. Vance: ...Of course you are. I am so very sorry, Mr. Marsh. It is a dreadful thing. They say it is the hands one misses most.

26:07 Crane: Mr. Marsh. You work at the Bartlett Street shops. Eleven years, I believe. A steady position. A man in a steady position has a great deal to be careful of.

26:18 Vance: Lucius. Crane: Only an observation, Doctor. Vance: Forgive him, Mr. Marsh. He has a policeman's manner. And Miss Quill. I have admired your work for years, from a distance, and I am sorry it is only now that we are introduced.

26:33 Daisy: Doctor. Vance: I will not pretend that Mr. Crane's men have not been a nuisance to you. I apologise for them. It was a clumsy way to learn what a remarkable person you are. The Department would like to offer you a post. A salary. A house in Brookline with a garden. A nurse who sees to it that you sleep. Eight hours a night, Miss Quill. You have not had eight hours since the war.

26:59 Daisy: Eight. Vance: Eight. Daisy: The Delaneys. And the Pereira family, on Hull Street. I found their little ones for your Mr. Crane. I thought somebody was glad.

27:10 Daisy: And then I felt them go quiet, Doctor. One after another, like street lamps going out down a long road. A lost child rings. A lost child who wants to be found rings loudest of all. And then they stopped. They weren't lost any more. They'd stopped wanting to be found.

27:30 Vance: Miss Quill, they are alive. They are comfortable. They are calm.

27:35 Daisy: A child shouldn't be that calm. Vance: Some of them have not been calm one day in their lives. Daisy: Eight hours. I'd sleep eight hours. And I'd lie there and feel every mother in this city wanting, and I'd be your hound, Doctor, and you'd call it a kindness.

27:54 Daisy: No. Thank you. Crane: The offer doesn't expire, Miss Quill. Vance: Jonah. You will have heard from the Captain.

28:02 Narrator: I have heard that a car comes at nine. Vance: Three days. A clinic, a clean bed, a few kind questions. You will be comfortable. I give you my word.

28:14 Narrator: Doctor Vance. When you say that, your pulse does not jump. Vance: No. It would not. I mean it, you see. That is the difficulty of me.

28:26 Narrator: The Captain did not give me to you. I am not a coat. Vance: A figure of speech, I am sure.

28:33 Narrator: It is a poor one. Harrow: Doctor. A paper signed by a Commissioner isn't a court order.

28:39 Vance: No. It is a good deal quicker. Ruth: Doctor. Vance: Mrs. Marsh?

28:45 Ruth: I can't say it with strangers watching. I've said it in my head since Saturday. But if you'd wait. If we could say it out loud, the family, with our hands together, the way we do. Just a minute.

28:58 Vance: Of course. I would be honoured. I am not of your faith, Mrs. Marsh, but I have always held that a prayer is a prayer. Mr. Crane and I will stand by the door.

29:09 Crane: Doctor. Vance: A minute, Lucius. Walter: Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name.

29:17 Ruth: Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.

29:23 The Same Kitchen, the Same Minute

29:23 Walter: Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our trespasses — Ruth: As we forgive those who trespass against us. Lottie: Nowhere.

29:32 Narrator: The doctor has opened his eyes. Vance: Mrs. Marsh? ...Well.

29:39 Harrow: Up. Slowly. Don't anybody let go.

29:43 Harrow: He's three feet away. Can he — Narrator: He is looking at the chair where you were. He cannot see you.

29:50 Walter: Ruth — Ruth, he's looking right at — Ruth: Hush, Walter. Hold her hand.

29:54 Daisy: Oh! Oh, Doctor, they've gone! Vance: Miss Quill.

30:00 Daisy: I felt them go! It went — a whole house of wanting, all at once — and it went up! The roof! They've gone up on the roof!

30:09 Crane: Doctor, the roof door's chained on the outside. Daisy: Then down! Down the back, the area way! Oh, I can feel it, it's so loud, you must hurry, it's going away from me!

30:20 Vance: Miss Quill. You have gone very pale. Daisy: I haven't slept since Sunday, Doctor.

30:27 Vance: Mr. Crane. Take two men and go with Miss Quill. Do exactly as she says.

30:33 Crane: Doctor — Vance: And Lucius. Watch her, not where she points.

30:38 Vance: She is the worst liar in Boston, you know. In nineteen years of reports I have never once caught Miss Quill in a false thing about what she feels, and I knew the moment she did. Harrow: Jonah. What's he doing?

30:52 Narrator: He is sitting down in your chair. His pulse is slow. He is not afraid.

30:58 Vance: Mrs. Marsh. Charlotte. I am not going to search this kitchen. I know you are in it, and I know that if I put out my hand I would touch nothing at all. I have read of it. Doctor Aldous wrote it up in nineteen twenty-four. I never thought to meet one.

31:14 Vance: I should like to tell you why I do this. In the winter of nineteen twenty-one, a boy named Tommy Keogh could make a stove draw without a match. His neighbours called it the devil's chimney. I was a student, and I was sent for. They had put him in his own coal cellar.

31:31 Vance: I carried out what was left. I have counted ever since. Eleven hundred and six, Charlotte, and every one of them alive. We count them so nobody burns them. I know what a clinic looks like from the outside. It looks like a cage. It is a cage built so that nothing else can get in.

31:51 Vance: Miss Harrow. Jonah. If you are in this room, as I think you are: the car will come to Berkeley Street at nine. I would so much rather you were in it of your own will.

32:03 Harrow: He's not getting you. Narrator: Nell. He means it. His pulse did not jump.

32:09 Harrow: I know. He's still not getting you. Ruth: He sounds as if he means it.

32:15 Harrow: He does. Walter: Then he's a good man. Harrow: Whoever signed that letter meant it kindly too, Walter. Hold her hand.

32:24 Lottie: Mama. Ruth: Hush, love. Lottie: I think I'd like to go with him. He's nice. I'm so tired, Mama.

32:34 Ruth: No. Lottie: I'm only saying — Ruth: No. Hold on to me. Hold on to my hand and don't say that again.

32:42 Vance: I shall be at Court Street. You have only to come. Nobody will hurt you. I give you my word.

32:49 Vance: Nobody can hide a child forever, Mrs. Marsh. Nobody ever has. Walter: He said nobody would hurt her.

32:58 Ruth: Walter. Don't. Walter: He said it kindly, Ruth.

33:03 Ruth: Mrs. Kiley's boy was handled kindly. Harrow: How long can you hold it, Lottie? Lottie: It's getting heavy.

33:11 Harrow: Jonah. The stairs.

33:14 Late Afternoon

33:14 Narrator: One on the landing below us. His heart is very slow. He is Mister Crane's man, the one with the newspaper. There is no room to pass him without touching his coat.

33:25 Harrow: Lottie. Does the world make room? Lottie: Sort of. It steps round. It doesn't like to be reminded.

33:33 Harrow: Then nobody breathe. Jonah, tell me when. Narrator: He has felt something. His heart has quickened. Stand still.

33:42 Narrator: He is lighting a cigarette. His heart is slowing. Go now.

33:48 Narrator: A motor at the curb with nobody in it. One man in the doorway across the road. One on the corner. They are watching the door of this house. They are watching the people who come out of it, and we are not people to them.

34:03 Harrow: Oh — Narrator: Nell. Harrow: ...I let go.

34:09 Narrator: I have you. Harrow: Don't you dare let go either. Narrator: I have no intention of it. Look. Far down the street. Miss Quill, with three men behind her.

34:20 Harrow: What's she doing? Narrator: She is pointing at a tobacconist's. She is not subtle. Harrow: God bless her.

34:29 Narrator: She is leading them toward the Common. I believe she intends to tell them that you are under the ice. Harrow: Walk. Quietly. Lottie, you're doing beautifully.

34:40 Narrator: We walked to Beacon Hill. A streetcar would have been quicker, but a conductor counts heads even when he cannot see them. The light went early, as it does in December. At the corner of Park Street a flock of pigeons rose all at once, circled, and settled again facing east.

34:58 Lottie: Mama? Who'll feed the cat? Ruth: Bishop? He'll manage, love.

35:03 Lottie: ...Who's Bishop? Walter: He's the cat, love. The one we found in the oven.

35:09 Lottie: Which oven? Ruth: Keep walking, Lottie. Keep hold of me. It isn't far now.

35:15 Narrator: Lottie. I have lost words. I know how it is. Say the ones you are sure of. Out loud, and do not stop.

35:24 Lottie: ...Mama. Narrator: Another. Lottie: Daddy.

35:28 Narrator: Another. Lottie: Spoon. Narrator: Another.

35:32 Lottie: Porridge. Pins. The cold one.

35:36 Harrow: Keep going, Lottie. Lottie: Spoon. Porridge. Mama. Daddy. Pins. Cold one.

35:45 Lottie: Spoon. Porridge. Mama. Daddy. Pins.

35:51 Lottie: Spoon. Porridge. Mama.

35:56 Wednesday, Dusk

36:00 Narrator: Joy Street, Beacon Hill, twenty past four. Number fourteen was narrow and brick, with a lamp in its fanlight. The street lamps were coming on, the street was full of people going home, and not one of them looked at it.

36:17 Adair: Ruth Marsh, I presume, and a good many others. Mrs. Gilroy said you might come one day. Do not dither on the step. The neighbours cannot see you, but the cold certainly can.

36:29 Harrow: Mrs. Adair? You can see us? Adair: I see what comes to my door. It is one of the very few advantages of my occupation. Ruth, my dear, hold the child tighter. She is thinning.

36:42 Lottie: Mama? Who's the lady? Ruth: A lady who keeps things safe, love.

36:48 Lottie: Where are we? Ruth: Joy Street. Lottie: Mama?

36:52 Ruth: I'm here. I'm holding your hand. Lottie: Who am I?

36:56 Ruth: You're Lottie. You're my Lottie. Lottie: That's a nice name. Is it mine?

37:03 Adair: Where is your finder? Harrow: She went the other way. She'll come. She has to.

37:08 Adair: Then she had better come soon. The child is past her hour. Daisy: I felt him from Tremont Street. The loudest thing in Boston, going up the hill like a lighthouse on legs. I've run all the way in these shoes.

37:23 Harrow: Daisy — Daisy: I walked them to the frog pond and told them she was under the ice. Three grown men. They stood and looked at it for ten minutes, the poor lambs. Then I said I'd lost the feeling and ran.

37:36 Adair: Miss Quill. You are very welcome, and very late. The child.

37:43 Daisy: Where is she? Ruth: Here. By my knee.

37:47 Daisy: I can't feel her, Mrs. Marsh. I can't feel a thing. She's held.

37:52 Adair: Then the rest of you let go. Mr. Marsh. Miss Harrow. Jonah. Only her mother holds her now.

37:59 Harrow: Jonah. Let go. Gently.

38:03 Walter: Lottie — Ruth: Let go, Walter. Daisy: Still nothing. She's still held. You'll have to let go, Mrs. Marsh.

38:11 Ruth: No. Adair: Ruth. She is going whether you hold her or not. What you are holding now is the shape of a hand. If you let go and Miss Quill is quick, you will have your daughter. If you hold, you will have a hand.

38:28 Ruth: Lottie. You've a chipped tooth from the pump handle. You read at the table and never hear a word I say. You want an office with a window. I'm letting go now. I'm right here. I'm — I'm right here.

38:43 Walter: Lottie! Daisy: Oh. Oh, there. There you are. The loudest — a whole street of mothers, and you're the loudest —

38:53 Daisy: Found you. Lottie Marsh. Found you.

38:57 Narrator: The sparrow is gone. That is a girl's heart, and it is as loud as anyone's in this room. Lottie: Mama?

39:06 Ruth: Lottie. Walter: I've got you. I've got you. I've got you.

39:12 Lottie: Daddy, you're squashing me. Where's Bishop? Walter: He's under the stove. He's been sulking since Saturday.

39:21 Lottie: He's not in the oven, Daddy. That was only one time. Adair: There is an orange on the sideboard, Lottie. The first of the Christmas ones. You will want something sweet.

39:32 Lottie: What's an orange? Ruth: You loved them. You ate one a day.

39:38 Lottie: I don't remember. Daisy: That one's gone, dear. Some stay gone. It's what it costs.

39:45 Walter: Then she'll learn it again. Here, Lottie. Try that.

39:51 Lottie: Oh. Oh, it's like somebody turned a light on in my mouth. Walter: That's an orange.

39:59 Lottie: ...I like it. You were the cold bit at the end of everybody's hand, the whole way up the hill, cold one. It was nice.

40:09 Narrator: I did not know that I was useful for that. Lottie: Are you still lost? Narrator: Miss Quill says that I am.

40:16 Lottie: Somebody ought to find you. Narrator: Miss Quill says that someone is trying. Lottie: I didn't mean that kind. Obviously.

40:25 Harrow: Lottie. Lottie: I'm only saying. Adair: And you, young man.

40:30 Narrator: Yes, Mrs. Adair? Adair: I have kept a great many lost things in this house. I have never been offered one so tall. I have a back room. It faces east.

40:42 Narrator: I can hear the harbor from here. Adair: That is why it faces east. Harrow: Mrs. Adair —

40:47 Adair: Not tonight, my dear. Tonight you will all have soup. You will meet the household in the morning. Mr. Santangelo will not say good morning, and you must not take it personally. He cannot.

41:00 Narrator: Why can he not? Adair: You will find that out for yourself. It is much more fun.

41:06 The Back Step, Near Midnight

41:10 Narrator: Joy Street, near midnight. I had eaten a bowl of soup without knowing what to do with it. I went out to the back step to listen to the harbor, and I left a note on the kitchen table so that nobody would worry. It seemed correct.

41:26 Harrow: Got your note. Narrator: It was accurate. Harrow: "Back step. Listening. Do not worry." Underlined twice.

41:34 Narrator: It was important. Harrow: Jonah. You're twenty feet from the kitchen.

41:40 Narrator: The rule does not specify a distance. Harrow: No. It doesn't. Narrator: It is hot.

41:47 Harrow: That's the idea. Narrator: Warm is a kind of sound. Harrow: You said it in that kitchen. "I could simply go with them tomorrow." As if you were reading me the bus timetable.

41:59 Narrator: It would have kept them from the girl. One girl. One man. The man is heavier.

42:05 Harrow: It was stupid. Narrator: It was exact. Harrow: It was both. And it's the second time you've done it. Decided you were the cheapest thing on the table.

42:15 Narrator: I did not decide. I counted. Harrow: The man is not cheaper, Jonah.

42:21 Narrator: ...No. Harrow: You don't get to spend yourself without asking me. Narrator: I will ask.

42:28 Harrow: And I took your hand in that kitchen. I didn't ask. I said "Jonah, your hand," like a woman calling a dog.

42:37 Narrator: You did. Harrow: And you gave it. Narrator: Your hand was cold. You were afraid. I thought it should be held.

42:45 Harrow: That's — kind. I still didn't ask. Narrator: No. I'd rather be asked.

42:53 Harrow: You said "I'd." Narrator: I did not. Harrow: You did.

42:59 Narrator: ...It is a smaller word. It seemed to fit. Harrow: Write it down.

43:05 Narrator: I will. Harrow: Mrs. Adair has a room. Narrator: She told me. It faces east.

43:11 Harrow: I want you to stay in it. Narrator: That is not asking. Harrow: ...No. It isn't. I'm sorry. Will you stay? Please. Until I find some way to make Doctor Vance's paper go away.

43:26 Narrator: Yes. Harrow: Because I asked? Narrator: Because you asked. And Mrs. Adair has not once asked me what I am. Nell. Do you hear the foghorn?

43:37 Harrow: Barely. Narrator: I hear the harbor. All of it. The pilot boat, the ferry, a gull on a piling. And I hear one place where there is no sound at all. East, beyond the harbor mouth.

43:53 Harrow: How long have you heard it? Narrator: Since I woke in the water. I thought it was the sea. The sea has a sound. This has none. It is the shape of a sound that is not there.

44:06 Harrow: And Daisy said — Narrator: Somebody wants me back. A long way off. Yes. I think that is what I have been hearing.

44:14 Harrow: How big is it? Narrator: When I woke it was the size of a coin. Tonight it is the size of my hand.

44:22 Harrow: It's getting wider. Narrator: Yes. Harrow: Jonah. Before the chain. Before the water. Do you remember anyone?

44:32 Narrator: I tried. In the station, when Miss Quill spoke, I tried. I reached.

44:38 Harrow: And? Narrator: A room. A wooden floor. A great many people, and they are singing, slow and low. A hymn. My mouth knows the shape of it and not the words.

44:53 Harrow: Go on. Narrator: It is gone. It is always gone when I look at it, the way a word is gone when you say it too many times.

45:02 Harrow: That's enough. Narrator: You asked. Harrow: I know. Stop anyway. May I?

45:09 Narrator: You are asking. Harrow: I'm asking. Narrator: Your pulse is ninety-one. On Tuesday it was seventy-four.

45:18 Harrow: Stop counting. Narrator: I will not. Harrow: No. I didn't think you would. Lottie said somebody ought to find you.

45:28 Narrator: She said that she did not mean the kind that Miss Quill meant. Harrow: ...What kind did she mean? Narrator: I do not know. I have written it down.

45:38 Harrow: Of course you have. Saturday. Hanover Street.

45:44 Narrator: I have never been to Hanover Street. Harrow: I know. I'm asking you to come.

45:50 Narrator: To get the watch. Harrow: To stand next to me while I find out whether he sold it. Narrator: He did not sell it. Miss Quill said.

45:59 Harrow: She said. Narrator: Yes. I will come.

46:02 Harrow: That was quick. Narrator: You asked. Daisy: Oh. Oh, I do beg your pardon. I'll — I won't look.

46:11 Harrow: It's all right, Daisy. Come and sit. Daisy: I couldn't sleep. Three hours, you know, and I've had two of them already on Mrs. Adair's horsehair.

46:21 Harrow: Can you always tell where he is? Daisy: Like a lighthouse, love. Anywhere in the city. It's the loudest thing I've ever felt.

46:30 Harrow: Then I'd — if you would — Daisy: I'll tell you where he is, Detective. I'll never tell them.

46:36 Narrator: Miss Quill. Is that a promise? Daisy: It's the only kind I make. There's something I ought to say. This afternoon, in the kitchen, when the little one took you all nowhere. I was outside it, you see, and I was lying like a rug, and I thought — something went by.

46:55 Narrator: What went by? Daisy: The looking. The one that wants you back. I've been feeling it all day, like a draught under a door. When you all went nowhere, it came closer. I thought I'd be sick. It was so cold, and so patient, and it went over the whole of Boston like a lamp across a table, and it passed right over you. It can only find what's there, you see. You'd gone nowhere, and nowhere's mine.

47:25 Narrator: It found me? Daisy: No, love. That's what I'm telling you. It went by. It went right on by, out over the water, and it kept going.

47:36 Daisy: It's still looking. But it's looking where he isn't.